A very happy Easter weekend to you all. With it comes the end of Lent – so if you gave anything up, well done! I have succeeded in my quest to reduce negative self-talk and as I said in my previous post, it genuinely works wonders. I can find the good in every situation and honestly, it is a lot less draining than being negative! Even if I am feeling off, I will throw some love out. I’ll compliment my friends on how fantastic they are or just show love to people in some way. It’ll improve your mood if you make others feel good about themselves.
There are a few things I want to get off my chest with this post. I’ll apologise if I come across in any way preachy, but I have fought to learn these things and if I can make things easier for you – then I will! These are things I have come across in recent weeks and whilst they may seem like obvious points to make, I feel that people just need a reminder of the simple things occasionally.
The first thing is Playground Culture. What do I mean by this? As children we, generally speaking, go to school, where we are thrown into a situation where five days a week, we have to spend hours with people of all walks of life, who we may or may not get on with. This, when not fully emotionally developed, causes ‘bitching’ and ‘two-faced’ behaviour. Unfortunately, as adults, this really doesn’t change much. Everyone has their moments of complaining, we have to work off our frustrations after all, but some people will just talk about you as though your life is up for their scrutiny.
My tip for you on this. Let them. If they want to spend their time talking about you, with ‘facts’ they have created from your social media posts or just their skewed perceptions of you, let them. People project their feelings, values and experiences onto others, it’s not a genuine picture of you. If they are talking about you then just frame it this way; they are giving you air time. Why are they not concerned about their own life, their own grind? I’ve had someone recently fishing to find out with others if I had been ‘bitching’ about them. Nope. I vent to trusted sources when I need to but stress my experiences with people are different to what other people have, I have no desire, nor do I have any right to try change or alter people’s opinions of others. Just do you and let them carry on in the playground.
On a similar path to this, I came across the above ‘meme’, and it couldn’t be more correct. I am usually wary of collecting my wisdom from Instagram, but credit where credit is due! As someone who isn’t who I was 3 months ago, let alone a year ago, and massively for the better, I get bothered when people refer to who I was in my past. I’ve learnt from it all moved on, and they should let me. The person I cut from my life was consistently tarring me with an old brush and it was unproductive and it’s also one reason why I have risen above and beyond since cutting them out. If you want to improve your wellbeing, improve aspects of you and become an ultimate badass, don’t let people hold you back.
The third and final point I want to make on protecting your wellbeing and mental health is about not having to do things you don’t want to. Do not let other people tell you what is better for you. A personal example of this is someone telling me I should be ‘the bigger person’ and be civil to the person who was toxic to me. Nope. I am not sacrificing my mental wellbeing for the sake of civility and other people’s perceptions and beliefs. If someone was toxic for you, don’t let other people tell you that you should be ‘the bigger person’ and be friends with them. You don’t have to prove yourself. You don’t have to please everyone. You don’t have to be happy all of the time. If doing something will damage you in some way then don’t do it. It’s your life. It’s your wellbeing. It’s your mental health. Don’t sacrifice that. Don’t treat yourself as though you are less worthy than others. They don’t know you like you do – listen to your body and mind.
I hope you’ve found these helpful and reassuring. Life can be frustrating sometimes, and all I want to do is make it a smooth and enjoyable ride whilst we have our short time here.
If you have any topic, in particular, you’d like me to cover, please give me a shout!
Much love, until next time!